BYOB (Bring Your Own Baby)

BC (Before Children) I was meeting a friend, who had a 5 month old, for coffee.

“So will you be bringing the baby?” I asked.

She kind of laughed and said, “Well, yeah.”

In my child-free state of mind I thought maybe she could just Mary Poppins-up a babysitter for those two hours so we could have some drool free girl talk. Was that too much to ask?

Fast forward, two children later and I can now say I have been on the receiving end of that statement and I know exactly why she laughed. No, it is not too much to ask, but I will require:

a). Notice of at least 24 hours to find childcare.

b). Some understanding that if you want to spend time with me, most of the time, my kids and I are a package deal.

c). Some damn good coffee.

In turn we understand, somewhat begrudgingly, that we will not be invited as many places. For instance, somewhere with white couches or, you know, anywhere that requires an ID.

Many weddings specifically say adults only, after all it’s their day and they probably don’t want to risk the very real possibility that just as the bride is making her entrance, your child decides that this is the best moment to sing the theme from Frozen. Some baby showers aren’t even child friendly because, ewww children.

BC, you will most definitely say to yourself the following statements:

a). I don’t want to be one of those parents that have to take their kids with them everywhere, we will need to have some quality adult time.

b). My social circle and life can’t possibly change that much.

c). My kids will be very flexible and little angels at all of our red carpet events.

Luckily the ABCs of parenthood are fluid. While the best news is you will be much too busy to keep track of all the ways the arrival of your children make your former self sound ridiculous and thankfully most days you are all too happy having your very own private party. 

My party of 4