The 5 Best Parts of Going Past Your Due Date

1). I no longer feel guilty about asking for help. I've earned my seat in a crowded waiting room. The grocery store is my new favorite place because not only do they help me out to my car without me having to ask and they literally won’t take no for an answer.

2). This is the first time during your pregnancy where your doctor looks at you like you’ve accomplished something. Studies are now showing that the longer the baby cooks in there the better. My OB actually gave me a high five, which I then passed on to the tiny hand inside my belly.

3). Now when people ask me when I’m due I get to say “last Friday”. The look on men’s faces is always the same; typically they look like they just ate a spicy burrito and it is always paired with, “Should you be out?” Then they either run away quickly or offer to get me something.

4). It kinda feels like your birthday! Friends and family are constantly messaging their love and support. They are also confirming that I haven’t yet had the baby. This isn’t some sort of conspiracy; everyone will be promptly notified, I promise.

5). I am constantly amazed by what I can still do! While every mom envisions binge watching reality TV with her feet up for the last 2 weeks, in reality the only time I have to sit is in the bathroom. Sure I’ve slowed a little, but I can still do prenatal yoga, walk 3 miles a day and bend over to pick up after my toddler because sooner or later everything ends up on the floor.  

Attitude is everything at this point. Sure there are some moments I get frustrated especially when I get to listen to the TMI Mommy with the gruesome induction story. But on those days I just have Charlotte gently knock on my belly to see if her sister wants to come out and play and then I watch her laugh since apparently one kick means “not yet”.

Charlotte continues to run "quality control" on all her sister's baby items. 

5 Things People Must Say to Extremely Pregnant Women

1). My guess is she’ll weigh…

This is a carnival game that I definitely don’t remember signing up for. It should be a general rule that all things related to weight and women should be off the limits, but since there are no boundaries when it comes to pregnancy, by all means estimate away and I’ll remember to high five you after she’s born if you’re correct.  

2). When is she coming?

If I knew that I wouldn’t be wasting my time talking to you, and I’d stop going on hotels.com looking for cheap rooms across the street from the hospital. Even when you go to your doctors appointments towards the end, they have no idea and give annoyingly vague answers like, “it could be today or two weeks from now.” I’m pretty sure that they are just making up words like "dilated" and "effaced" because it sounds helpful and they are just tired of answering the same questions.

3). When’s your due date again?

I’d like to have a shirt made (and by shirt I mean wearable tent): It’s a girl, no I won’t tell you her name because you’ll find a way to ruin it for me, her due date is September 25th. Have a nice day.

 4). How are you feeling?

We all know how I feel about this questions: but I will reiterate for emphasis. This doesn’t feel great people. I have a bowling ball dangerously close to my bladder and even though I’ve tried to avoid the waddle, sometimes it’s the only way that walking feels comfortable.  

5). I’m just so uncomfortable for you…

This is an odd form of sympathy, sort of like I feel your pain. Except that you don’t and unless you can magically birth this baby for me, your words are not helping and now I have to pee… again.