Why Is My Toddler Crying?

We’ve entered the age of crocodile tears. It’s that limbo stage of communication where she understands most everything and yet can only communicate part of it. So sometimes the only way to keep from screaming in frustration is to laugh and make a list #whyismytoddlercrying.

1). I gave her half a banana and she wanted to hold the part with the peel.

2). I wouldn’t let her feed that same banana to our fat beagle.

3). She wanted to wear my shoes… while I was wearing them.

4). I wouldn't let her put her mouth on the fish tank at the doctor's office.

5). I wouldn’t let her play catch with her sister and a muffin.

6). I wouldn’t let her finger paint with a bottle of breast milk.

7). I wouldn't let her eat yellow mustard at 6:30 in the morning.

8). I stopped pushing her on the swing for 30 seconds to take her picture.

9). I wouldn't let her eat a goldfish cracker we found on the playground. 

10). I won't let her kiss strange dogs on the mouth.

As you can see the majority of these are things I simply cannot let her do, both for her safety and my sanity. From now on you can refer to me as “Mean Mommy: the Destroyer of Fun”.