Why Life is Hard When You're Two

It’s a confusing world we live in, especially when you are two and Mommy says things like, “We cannot drink the hose water” and yet it tastes just like a yummy mixture of water and pennies (which I also cannot put in my mouth).

Everything is a no. No ice cream in the morning, no squeezing toothpaste directly into my mouth.

I only get to play all day every day which really gets in the way of me telling everyone exactly what they should be doing.

It is not considered helpful when I reorganize or unpack.

I have to wear clothes in public, including shoes which feel like tiny monsters trying to eat my toes.

Mommy hides tiny trees in my food and pretends like they are not there but I know they are. 

Things that were once okay like diapers and pacifiers are now for babies and not big girls.

I now know all the words, but no one else seems to.

I would say more, but Mommy says it’s nap time and I say it's party time.