The Slow Clap, Eye Roll

We have all been standing in line at the grocery store next to that one mom that likes to overshare her gluten free non-dairy vegan household success stories and your internal self can’t help but give a long slow clap eye roll when she says, “My son Amadeus isn’t allowed to watch TV, probably because we don’t even own one!” I’m happy for all your non-bribery related parenting wins, but I gotta do what I gotta do as a Mom to survive until bedtime each day.

Here is the short list that warrant the internal eye roll:

My kids don’t/will never/have never...

1.      Eat sugar, gluten, formula or fast food

2.      Watch TV

3.      Play on my phone or any other "electronic device"

4.     Use bottles or pacifiers

The worst offenders are the "when I have kids they will never" and here is the look I would give trying to suppress a laugh (only it's much cuter and more polite when I show my daughter doing it).

Every mom everywhere at one time or another is guilty of being a sugar dispensing, yelling, bribing, spoiling, enabler all while using TV or tablets as pacifiers or babysitters and to those that say they aren't, well all I have to say is...