All 50 Stars

This month marks the first occasion my kindergartner was assigned homework. Their class is learning about geography, so with our guidance, they were asked to make one flag of any country, state, or organization that is important to our family. When asked, my daughter explained that only some of her friends from school live in America, and I glowed with pride knowing she would one day knock ‘em dead during the Q&A portion of the Miss America Pageant.

The funny thing about home projects with our kids; they often turn into a version of art-therapy for parents by revealing some deep-rooted perfectionism in the form of glitter and Popsicle sticks.

What are we so worried about? That the flag will look like our kindergartner made it?

I have seen some of the flags that the “students” made. Davis is a land of overachievers, where the average parent education level is a master’s degree, so I am confident the kindergarten teacher knows that we know there are 50 stars on the American flag and a 5-year-old cannot draw a bald eagle that resembles anything that looks like a bald eagle. This has everything to do with our pride and ego and nothing to do with our child’s ability to use a glue stick.

After we discussed the options for flags we could use: Ireland (“the colors aren’t fun”), Italy (“looks like a Christmas flag” (which was appealing!) “but Christmas is over”—again, truly a pageant answer if ever I’ve heard one) and many others, we landed back in the U.S. I had to sit on my hands so I would not micromanage when Charlotte created a box that would clearly not be large enough for all the states. Nobody really cares about the Dakotas. As we were about to leave this morning, I realized baby sister likely ingested at least 2 stars and 4 were scattered like Hansel’s breadcrumbs on our walk to school. Those that are good at math will notice we didn’t even get close to 50.

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On this occasion, I decided to sit back and let my child create. And while she was doing that, I was diligently entering online Girl Scout cookie sales that Charlotte “sold” to our extended Irish/Italian family. Because I am guilty too. I pick up when I’ve asked them to. I put lunch boxes in backpacks, because I don’t want them to be hungry, while I’m teaching them a lesson in responsibility.

We are here as parents to set our kids up for success, but we don’t always get it right. We have to learn how to walk the line between being observers and doers; holding the scissors and guiding their cuts, and we must recognize when we are helping them with their school projects or just plain projecting.