Week 1

Raise your hand if you aren’t quite emotionally prepared to jump right into another season after Tayshia’s? 

But here we are with Matt James, the first Black Bachelor, in 19 years and 25 seasons. That’s too many and ABC has no excuse for this inequity. Period. I’m intrigued that the only way Matt’s been tainted by the reality TV limelight is because of his friendship with Tyler Cameron. As a long time Tyler Instagram stalker, their bromance is downright adorable. I’m hoping Matt’s greenness makes for potentially a more authentic love story if that’s at all possible from this platform.

Let’s jump right in. We learn that Matt has never been in love, comes from a biracial family with a white mom and a Black dad, and his Mom’s favorite movie is likely The Devil Wears Prada.

Matt starts off with a quick chat with Therapist Harrison, discussing his feelings of immense responsibility for being the first Black Bachelor. The things I most look forward to with Chris Harrison this season:

a. Attempting to give advice on a topic he has no business giving advice on.

b. Pretending he doesn’t feel like a tiny, old dude next to a statuesque sexy God. 

The only entrances of note:

Chelsea—it looks like she just walked off the set of America’s Next Top Model and happened upon the mansion.

Abagail, coming out strong owning who she is as a woman who is deaf. 

Saneh hoping to be “The Goat” and wearing hairy goat hooves.

MJ the hairdresser bringing a pizza and forgetting to unlock the backdoor. 

I could have gotten on board with the Vibrator Girl, but she rode the joke for too long, and didn’t know when to quit (see what I did there). 

Matt opened the rose ceremony with a prayer probably because Tayshia slipped him a note after gym class that said, “Make sure to address your feelings about Jesus early on, otherwise you’ll find yourself mid-Fantasy Suites in an RV with an agnostic and that gets real awkward, real quick”. 

We can quickly determine “Queen” Victoria, Katie aka Vibrator Girl, and Kit will be our Nails on the Chalkboard Squad this season.

Abagail scores the first real kiss if you don’t count a forced Lady and the Tramp spaghetti moment, which I don’t. AND the first impression rose.

We all should have guessed that 2020 would go down in flames after ABC gave us Pete the Pilot as tribute. Thankfully Matt gives off nothing but positive vibes and is a much improved start to 2021.