The Final Countdown

Are you so ready to have the baby?

People would ask me this all the time when I was pregnant with Charlotte and I’d get giddy and squealy and say, “Yes, so ready.” I wish I could go back in time and lovingly slap myself in the face. No, there is no way to be ready and there is no way to be prepared for having a baby. My life was suddenly filled with so much stuff, all centered around a little person weighing less than 8 pounds. Stuff comprising of tons of necessary and unnecessary baby gear, not to mention the emotional stuff like tears, frustration, joy and a ridiculous amount of love.

Fast forward to what feels like a mere week later and the third trimester of my second pregnancy. Now when people ask me, I tell them the ugly truth. No, I’m absolutely not ready because I know what’s coming. I am physically exhausted from wrangling a toddler while carrying a bowling ball around in my stomach, that kicks me with the force of a hundred gerbils in 100 degree heat. But this tired is a spa weekend in wine country compared to what's ahead.

Do I long to hold my baby girl in my arms? Absolutely, more than anything. But I’d love to venture back to the land of ignorance just for this final countdown. This pregnancy is completely different because my first little ball of joy doesn’t allow me any time to think. But suddenly my brain has flipped a switch and I can’t ignore what feels like a ticking time bomb just waiting to shower me with two times the STUFF, which coincidentally feels like two times more than I am equipped to handle.

What do you mean I will no longer be the center of the universe?

On the plus side my heart is about to double in size. The one thing I consistently hear about having two under two is that nothing beats the feeling of watching your children fall in love with each other. So while I’m not ready for labor, sleep deprivation, or nursing, I can hardly wait for all the good stuff.