Week 7

Tayshia starts out the first group date with a friendly singing/songwriting competition.

She asks, “What girl doesn’t want a guy to write a song and sing it to her?”

ME! I’m that girl. Unless you are Patrick from Schitt’s Creek, you have absolutely no business serenading anyone. The cringe-worthiness is just too much. Bennett obviously skipped out on any and all literary courses in college as is evident during his “rap” where he says— “You don’t need no Harvard degree to be in Paris eating brie with me."

Ivan wins the song writing competition although Eazy’s was “better”. I use that word loosely, in the way that bleeding from the ears is slightly “better” than bleeding from the eyes.

Later that evening, Ivan and Tayshia do a game night and their cuteness while playing The Floor is Lava Game, melts my cold-sarcastic heart. 

I’m not sure if it’s because The Bachelorette’s regular producer had to go into quarantine after spending too much time watching Fox News, but whomever is now in charge, is doing a much better job of revealing actual relationships forming. This may be the first time they’ve ever showed legitimate dialogue that would need to occur in order to make it as a real-life couple. Ivan and Tayshia have an important conversation with topics that include: being bi-racial, police brutality, and the BLM protests. Ivan is definitely something special.

Ivan gets the rose and my money is on a spot in Tayshia’s top 3.

Tayshia invites former Bachelorette Becca and BFF Sydney to host a friendly competition around the hotel for the second group date. Hey guys, I am also available during quarantine for some giggly girl time, this looked like they had a blast.

The guys faked orgasms over the loudspeaker and Eazy’s reaction to Blake and his big Canadian “O”’s is hilarious. We all need an Eazy in our lives these days.

Zac scores the group date rose after opening up to Tayshia in the hot tub.

Later that night, around 2 am, Ed goes to see Tayshia, but winds up having drinks with Chris Harrison—just to symbolize how desperate for socialization people have become during the pandemic. Ed reminds me of a water buffalo that’s been hit by a tranquilizer, but never quite falls all the way asleep. 

Luckily Ben finds Tayshia’s room instead of Ed and the two settle the misunderstanding from the last group date. Sparks fly and it looks like Ivan has some competition in Ben.

Before the rose ceremony Noah goes running to Mommy T and whines that the other boys have been picking on him. When that doesn’t work he plays the “questioning her integrity” card. Which is a slimy maneuver, but to be expected by a man-child who thought he could pull off a mustache.

Some surprising men are sent home during the rose ceremony—like Joe and Chasen. Chasen we will see in Paradise I’m sure, but I hope Joe gets more air time in a meaningful way. It ends with a toast from Riley and lots of drama lined up for next week.