At this point in our pandemic playbook, we’ve all been left alone in our heads for far too long. With literally nowhere to go and no place to hide, we can either use our energy to fight against the discomfort of looking inward or utilize this as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.
This year, we cannot celebrate the holidays in a way that feels familiar.
How easy it is to only focus on the negative, on this unrelenting year of loss.
But what if we break things down into similar parts, so we can begin to recognize the things that still remain.
Glennon Doyle says, ”Selfless women make for an efficient society but not a beautiful, true, or just one. When women lose themselves the world loses their way. We do not need more selfless women. What we need right now is more women who have detoxed themselves so completely from the world's expectations that they are full of nothing but themselves. What we need are women who are full of themselves. A woman who is full of herself knows and trusts herself enough to say and do what must be done. She lets the rest burn.”
During my first Stroller Strides class, with a toddler and newborn in tow, I thought to myself, “Look at this--I am doing something for me, while still mothering them.”
Then I looked up at Emily. She was running a business, while literally running with her children. “Yes,” I thought, “Look at us.”
As a country, we on the cusp of having our first female in the role of Vice President. We have to wonder how many times men told Kamala Harris, she was just not enough. Not good enough, smart enough, ignorantly implying she’s not “man enough”.
Other countries have failproof systems in place to protect systematic structures—our country, has women. While this isn’t fair or just, the truth of the matter is literally every component of our society would fall apart without us. Women do it all, while simultaneously carrying the invisible load, no one but other mothers can even recognize.
It makes us want to scream at the top of our lungs, “Enough!”
Thankfully whenever we’ve had enough, we too have a system in place. It’s the reason we are all here right now. It’s the reason we choose to surround ourselves with other equally inspiring, powerful mothers. These women help to hold up the mirror when we forget to see ourselves clearly. Our support systems never fails to say, “We believe in you.”
So, while it’s infuriating that in 232 years, this is the first woman to reach this level of power and privilege, we will continue to be grateful for Trailblazers like Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Kamala Harris who have broken through the glass ceiling, so our daughters can continue to reach higher.
And when small minds try and stand in our way, we will say: we are more than enough.
After we’ve voted, remember that what comes afterwards matters too.
We no longer have control over the outcome, all that will be, will be.
Imagine if you will, that our experience with Fit4Mom has been one epic race. One we entered into completely naïve and unassuming—like motherhood, we thought we knew, when really we had no idea.
I wonder if today we could all spend more time in our hearts and less time in heads.
We have the stuff within us that has created life, so we know a little something about strength.
When we step on the elevator and take ourselves all the way down to the bottom. The ride down itself, feels so familiar, wallowing has become what feels normal.
But stop.
Let’s go up.
For so many women, Ruth Bader Ginsburg was our beacon of light; proof that it is possible to be seated at a table, where once only men were allowed.
I may be on one side of the bridge and you on the other—and instead of being angry about the space between us, we are just so darn happy to see each other. Never again, will we take for granted the sanctity of togetherness.
How do you manage a passage of time, when it feels like our lives have been put on hold?
California is once again ablaze and not only should we be limiting our contact with others because of COVID, but we are confined to our homes because of the air quality. This would be the part where we would quit you, 2020. Enough. But as mothers, we do not have the luxury of staying down long.
It feels like we have been holding our breath for the past 5 months--scared not only to release what could be inside, but unsure of the consequences of letting our guard down.
For the very first time, we are experiencing the emotional limits of technology. In the past, we could use it as a life raft, that would help us tread water until the boat arrived.
It was never our intention to raise children alone. With or without a partner, we are reliant on a small army behind us. Helping us to shoulder some of the weight.
And it’s not because we can’t do it alone.
We have gratefully chosen not to.
We laugh together at something childish our children do, or say—because their simplicity and innocence place us right back into the present, where we all belong.
If you look at pictures of animal mothers in the wild, so often their entire bodies are wrapped around their babies. If they have wings, they surround them. A pouch, tuck them inside. Trunks, they are entangled.
We took for granted how lucky we were to constantly be surrounded by others. We were complacent and lackadaisical without even realizing it.
We needed this darkness to know light.
We needed this distance to appreciate togetherness.
